The Scouse Invasion Has Been Spreading From Liverpool For Many Years Now. The 'Shell Suit Army' Has Reached As Far North As Burscough And As Far East As Warrington. Yet Despite Their Progress They Have Not Yet Managed To Successfully Cross The M6. They Have, However, Been Building Up Their Numbers In Skelmersdale For Many Years Now- Turning It Into What May Be A Strike Base.

In An Exclusive Interview For PlattBridger A Senior Liverpudlian Councillor Dispelled Rumours As Slanderous Nonsense That Liverpool Is In Fact Using Skelmersdale's Many Roundabouts As Secret Missile Silo's, Aimed At Their Old Enemy- Manchester. However It Has Been Calculated From The Number And Size Of Roundabouts That Skem Could House Enough Non-Nuclear Fire Power To Destroy An Area Nearly The Size Of Wales.

It Is Believed By 2010 That Scousers Will Have Settled As Far North As Preston, Conquering Much Of Southern Lancashire, And They Will Be The Cruel Overlords Of Mancunians! By 2050 They Will Have Reached Newcatle-Upon-Tyne And Possibly Proclaimed An Independent Scouse Republic Across Much Of Britain!

The Only Probable Safe Haven Lies South Of The River Mersey As The Shell Suit Army Will Most Likely Spare It Due To Their Believe Everyone South Of The Mersey Is A Southern Fairy And Everywhere There Is As Irritating As Birkenhead.

Be Prepared...

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